I got clean after a 3 week relapse (meth & heroin via IV) on 10/7 (actually due to being hospitalized until 10/11 due to a cellulitis infection that I still have) on 10/7.
I started taking my Lexapro 20mg shortly after.
Started taking my Gabapentin (3 300mg capsules, 2x daily) a few days ago.
I have actually NEVER had a "real" diagnosis. I was told I was bipolar when I was 13, autistic when I was 16, just an anxiety disorder when I was 18, now I'm 20 & I haven't seen a psychiatrist in about a year. I've been on & off my meds due to my drug use.
STAYING clean has become increasingly hard due to this cellulitis infection. I feel so defeated, the pain is OVERWHELMING & I can't take narcotic pain medication. I can barely walk, the doctor's have NO clue what to do. I've had ultrasounds, x-'rays, MRI's, you name it.
I want to give up. I honestly feel suicidal. I have since yesterday. This is why I do drugs. I don't want to feel this way. I want to give up.