The thought is getting stronger all the time: I should not be here.

I am not supposed to be alive. I never was.

You only care about me because I pay you to, but it doesn't matter because you should not be seeing me. I should not be in your office. I should not be in anyone's office. I should not be on this planet. I should be dead. I should have died years ago. Preferably in infancy, before I had a chance to come into contact with and screw up anything for anyone else.

None of you are supposed to be reading this because I am not supposed to be here to type it.

I'd kill myself if I had any guts at all. I owe the world that much. The world is trying to push me out by taking away everything that keeps me going, one at a time. Natural selection is at work.

Maybe drinking myself to death counts. I won't call 911. I'll just throw the phone out the window to make sure.