The other day I had some bad news that caused me distress. To make my self feel better I spent 100 pound on in app purchase on a game! Now I have no money and it did make me feel better for a while but no I feel worse

Yesterday and today I can't seem to stop myself from eating . then I feel horrible and hate my self so I make myself sick.

I don't usually do this , just in the last few days , but the spending is something I do a lot and its a visious cycle .

How do I get control of myself and my life ? I'm so mad at myself for not having self control which is making me self loathing and wishing I didn't exist.

I am trying to get better . I don't understand why I have no self control or what or why .

I feel like the worse person in the world right now and a complete failure .

I also keep having dreams about taking drugs . I did this in the past. I don't want to go back to that lifestyle but why do I keep having those dreams ?

I'm starting to doubt weather its possible for me to have a normal life . 😫

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