I'm glad I'm not alone. I know it's just puppy stuff and she'll eventually grow out of it but it's really hard. Especially this week since my folks are out of town and I'm taking care of her. She has more energy then I can handle. Especially since I work full time so when I get home she's so starved for attention she's jumping all over me and barking. I just want to lock her outside while I curl up inside. I haven't because that's not right but I really, really want to.

The triggers make me anxious and anxiety makes me me snowball out of control. Like will I ever be handle a puppy? If I can't handle a puppy will I ever be able to handle having a kid? Oh my gosh, a baby is more needy than a puppy. What if I can't bond with the kid? What if my anxiety makes me so crazy I hurt the kid? I know this isn't helpful, I know these are worst case scenarios, and I know I shouldn't be freaking out about a hypothetical kid but I can't shut it off. I suppose this is just the part of PTSD that makes the future seem utterly hopeless.