I've been to many therapists in many years. Not one has been able to REALLY help me. Sure some of them helped in some ways, but none of them have been able to really help me conquer my issues. And yes, over time those issues change, I change, etc. but you'd think that one of them would at least be able to get somewhere with me.

Now I don't believe that I have really managed to find all the bad therapists out there, I honestly believe that I must be doing something wrong in therapy. However, I have no clue what that is and I'm wondering if you can help me figure it out.

I'm normally a very private person, but in therapy I let go and I feel like I put everything out there. In real life I'll lie to make people happy, but in therapy I work hard to be completely honest even if I worry it will hurt the therapists feelings. I'm not worried the therapist will judge me - I honestly believe they won't.

One thing is that I HATE to cry in front of people. This does hold me back sometimes. If I feel like I'm going to cry I do anything it takes not to. Then again it's not like I feel like I'm going to cry every session, so it's not like that's preventing me from getting anywhere.

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I feel like with each counselor it starts off really well and then I get comfortable with them and then it goes no where and every time I go in we just talk about some issue and we don't really get anywhere. With one counselor I actually got too comfortable and felt more like friends and it affected my ability to be honest with her so I switched counselors. With the last one it just felt like we talked and talked and talked and never figured out what my issues were or how to tackle them.

With my new counselor I only have 5 more sessions (we've only done my intake session so far) and I really want to make this work. After those 5 sessions I have to pay and that will be hard so I'm trying to do the most I can in those 5.

Am I actually NOT being honest and I don't realize it? Am I not receptive to what they say so I'm not hearing what I really need to do? What am I doing wrong?