I am living in a foreign country also this year. I am a Professor who lost the full-tenure track teaching position due to the recession. I was never able to recover. I ended up teaching as an Adjunct in the evening, and working for a non-profit as a designer during the day. Even with both jobs--it wasn't enough. I spent the last year living in my vehicle for 10 months. It was the only way I could get out of my situation...I am in Israel this year getting another graduate degree...hoping it will somehow turn around my life.

I lived in my car for 10 months to pay for all of the fees, luggage, plane tickets-etc--to get here.

I was molested by a doctor for 7 years of my childhood--from age 3-10.
Three years later--I began having Holocaust nightmares. They have haunted me for the past 30 years. I was diagnosed with PTSD from enduring both the molestation and the nightmares.

About 5 years ago, the panic attacks were so out of control--that I would see my students flicker back and forth in their chairs from student to concentration camp victim. I would give a break when they would hit, and run downstairs and lock myself in the bathroom. I would classify PTSD as an emotional cancer that takes over your life...like a hot flash...when you least expect it.

This website has been a large comfort for me. For 40 years of my life I thought what I had...no one else DID. My Rabbi is also my therapist. He has a private practice and all of his degrees in psycho therapy. My best advice I can possible give you--is to keep searching for a good therapist...if you have yet to find one.

Also, if you are a spiritual person--do not allow your PTSD to cause you to lose your faith. Your revenge on all of those who have harmed you in life?
...Is your success.

Everyone laughed at me for having the Holocaust Nightmares.
They laughed at me even more...for being able to sense energy.
Some...even told me I was just some crazy artist.

At this time in history--there is only 1 university in Israel that awards
graduate degrees in Holocaust Education. They just opened the program
4 years ago. I am at it.
THEY did not laugh at me.
In fact--they let me in.

I am the first candidate to represent my state in Holocaust Education
in the state of Israel. So..all of those people who were laughing at me?
Let them keep laughing.
Do not allow your PTSD to destroy your dreams.
Turn the other way when people laugh at you if you are having an attack.
They aren't worthy of you or what you have to offer this world.

I believe--that what we do in this lifetime?
Will forever echo in our Eternity.

Stay strong. You are not the only one having a PTSD meltdown or attack.
Tell yourself that.