Just pulled over on the street, sitting crying in my car. Trying to pull it together. I was just at a one year old's birthday party for a close friend's daughter. I was the only adult there with no kids. My boyfriend dumped me a couple weeks ago, but keeps texting confusing mixed messages, and left me a kind of awful 6 page letter. I'm crashing from hypomania too. It's all too much. I'm going to another little get together, and i'm outside a restaurant, trying to calm myself to go in and pick up take out that I'm bringing to tonight. I'm so miserable, and it feels like i have to claw my way up a mountain to get out of this, and i'm so tired of mood cycling, and dating, and i just don't know. I know i have a pretty good life, and i was happy a few weeks ago, but that seems so faint and far away. It's so unfair, how much pain, i just keep trying. I know life isn't fair, and i should be grateful for a nice apartment and a good job, and having beaten addictions, and my friends. I am grateful for these things. It just really sucks right now.