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Man I saw red flags flying all over the place reading your post.Everything you talked about is early signs of an abusive relationship. I thought I was reading about the early stages of my own marriage. My husband wore me down with this sort of shite until I reached a bout I felt I deserved it when he hit me. Afterall, I'd done something "wrong."
I would like to suggest you read Patricia Evans two books about emotionally abusive relationships. I think you'll find some answers there.
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