Hi to all of you. I wanted to say that I'm not passing in the best moment of my life. I was humilliated as a child, I was constantly beaten, my father never cared about me, and I had really few people that I could say really cared about me. I suffered from deep depresion in the most part of my life. I was alone a long part of my life. I didn't have an amazing life. I have realised that I have been desperately searching for love. I had let a lot of people to treat me bad. I wad desperate. I just wanted to find someone to love me. But now after all this time I have gotten into a moment in my life in which I feel deeply destroyed inside. I don't want to feel love or have any good feeling at all. I know sadness, guilty, and other feelings, and eventhough I don't want to feel them, thats the only thing that I have ever felt. I feel misereable and I feel lost. Sometimes I want someone to hug me and I don't have anyone to do that. I'm about to be 28 in a couple of days, and I think i don't deserve anything. I don't know what to do. I think I lost myself. The ones that really loves me have told me that I should relax and just have faith, but I also lost my faith. I think that for the first moment in my life, I cannot stand up for myself, and I don't know how to ask for help. And I don't if I could take some help if somebody offers it. I don't even know why I'm posting this. I don't know if I wrote this fine. Sorry if I didn't.