I've been bed bound for two days. This bout of depression is really weighing me down. I can't even distract myself with video games. I could go into detail, but there's just so much plaguing my mind.

Before I digress too much, I better get to the point of this post. I've been to the doctor for depression before. I hate going to the doctor for the sole reason that she thinks I'm a spoiled brat that doesn't deserve to be taken seriously. She seems to just throw experimental drugs at me just to make me go away, then refuse to lower my dose when I have unbearable side effects. (I should probably mention that I've also been diagnosed with social anxiety.)

After some lengthy discussions with my college counsellor, it was recommended recommend that I seek professional help. Now I have to go to doctor to get a form filled out. I'm terrified that it'll happen again. I'm afraid they'll turn me away, as if I'm wasting their time if I'm not at immediate risk of harming myself or others.

I've dealt with depression and anxiety for half of my entire life. I could never go to my parents for help, for one is emotionally disconnected and the other doesn't believe depression is even a thing that exists. I chat with my online friends sometimes, and it helps, but I can't go to them all the time. It's not fair to them to know that I'm hurting all the time. It's more difficult to talk to my friends face-to-face, and I just end up being a pathetic, sobbing bundle.

This turned in to a bit of a rant, but what I mean to ask is: have you ever felt like your depression wasn't taken seriously by your friends or your family or even your doctor?

I feel silly for even asking...