Hey (((((((((((((Venny))))))))))))))
Welcome to PC
Glad you're here, wish it was under better circumstances. I'm very glad you decided to reach out, because having to go through feelings like that alone kinda sucks (believe me, I know).
Do you have someone IRL (in real life) to talk to? A therapist, family member? If you don't, and aren't ready for that ... keep talking to us here, we're ready and always willing to listen.