((((((((((((((bellaviolet)))))))))))))

You're right, drinking does tend to make things worse when it comes to SI ... happened to me before. Inhibitions seem to go out the window...

If you're not okay and don't want to tell anyone IRL about how you're really feeling ... talk to us. It sucks not being "okay".

You are not a loser in any way ... as for being 'normal' ... not sure what to say about that, since I like being abnormal. More fun. (Yeah, not helpful)

Sorry about your brother. Have you tried phoning him back now and talking to him again?

Be good to yourself.