I can recognize the ramp up through hypomania. Lack of sleep, irritability and angry outbursts are the norm for me. Always seem to go through mixed episode first, then into the "happy fun" part. I never see the transition to full on mania though.

I was off meds for a long time after many years on them. Things got worse. I don't like being back on meds but they really do help me in the long run. My last manic episode I walked out of a very good job, burning bridges on the way out. Sucks that I can't repair that damage now.

I hope you can find the best route for you. I'm finding a combination of meds and therapy are working ok right now for. Unfortunately, for many of us, the exhilarating part goes away all too fast and you're left to pick up the pieces later.