You took the words out of my mouth! I definitely relate to that. That's what I want too. I want to be a "daddy" not just a father/provider. And I want to have a wife whom I love more than life itself, whom I'd do anything for, not hate like my dad hates my mom. And do anything for my children, not invalidate, reject and ignore them, like I was, and how I was told "After everything I do for you, you're ungrateful" and "I'm the only one bringing in the money, it's my money, my house, I make the rules, I'm the boss." And a huge sigh and whining when I ask for the smallest favor. At about the age of 10, after my dad once again threw a fit after I asked him for something, I vowed to myself I would never ask him for anything ever again. I'm 26 now, and have never ever asked him something since then. It's good in the sense that it teaches one how to become resourceful and cunning.

But, that's not how I want it to be in my family one day. I will fight as hard as I can to keep my family and home one day filled with love, respect and acceptance for one another. I want to be a dad who my children can ask anything, not feel they have to hide things like I had to hide things from my dad (he always freaked out about everything and turned the whole conversation into how it affected him). And I want to be a loving husband whose wife can also ask him for anything.

I know it's a far-off dream, and I don't know if it will ever come true, but I live in hope.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, crosstobear.