i know. its very hopeless. and i have a lot of dreams and goals in life. i try to work smart and hard. Going to school. i take my meds. i have ambition. not much motivation in general. but right now i have motivation because im taking a lower dose of meds. my motivation is rising. i hate that it goes in waves. well... waves because my medication. but they said i would be on disability for the rest of my life. a social worker said that when i first got accepted into the clinic. it made me feel hopeless but stronger to prove them wrong.