Quote:
Originally Posted by rcat
It's been near 6 yrs and 2 relationships since, but my ex husband of 16yrs still is a thorn in my side and I'm not coping well.
I've ranted about him in other posts; about his behaviour when we were together, about his hoarding and hiding of money, the affairs etc
I've had a really hard time watching his gloriously wonderful life from afar when I really don't have one at all in comparison.
He's got it all - including my children's love and attention. It is not as bad with my son as it is with my daughter, but they are caught up in his wonderful life while paying little or no attention to mine. As I've posted elsewhere, my daughter is pretty well not in my life at all. I can't compete with the paid for vacations, the money for downpayments on cars, and the wild fun.
Yes, I'm intensely jealous - wouldn't you be? I'm full of deep resentment and bitterness. He stole my life while we were together, and he has stolen the most important things I have.
Anyway, jeesh. I had to rant.
Am I a bad person for wishing that all the heartache and grief of his actions catch up with him? Am I a bad person to wish that my children regain their senses and realize what a wretch he is? Gosh, I just want my children back.
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Hi rcat : I'm quoting your whole first post because I want to share my experience and similarity to yours. I was married for almost 40 yrs. I haven't been divorced long and have had no relationships or even friendships since I left her. I moved to another state. Now I know she stole money while I let her do all the finances all that time. I wish I could prove the affairs but I "know" they happened. Now I was a pretty bad boy a long time ago and paid the price for it. Then after I turned things around I wound up getting hurt and couldn't work anymore. I was on a lot of pain meds and didn't realize what was happening.
While I laid in bed pretty comatose she moved on with her life ,to make a long story short.
Now she didn't steal my children with money, ( two girls ) , but manipulated them to hate me. My daughters and I are now estranged. No you can't compete with money but your ex is buying their love. Hopefully some day they will come to their senses.
You should not be jealous but moving on with your own life. You are letting them take over YOU and their not even there. Your jealous , I would be too , but why ? " Things " are only a façade and just hide the emptiness behind. You see all this on social media , why do you look ? Why punish yourself. I'm sitting here alone and don't care what they are doing because I'm just delaying the forward movement of my whole life. I've had to accept that it is possible to have totally been wrong about a past life that has been taken away.
And your not a bad person for your thoughts. Negative thoughts pop in and out of our heads every day Bad thoughts . Evil thinking. As long as we don't act on them. I believe that everybody gets their due. I'm not going to waste my time on people , even so called " family " ,that don't really give a damn about me. Please try and get past this anger and jealousy and resentment and hurt and move forward with YOUR life.
Sorry for the length of this reply.
All the best to you