It actually what is called wise mind. It's a combination of logical & emotional & determining what is the wise thing to do for oneself. DBT is good for teaching these skills...along with my relationship with God that sets my moral boundaries. I give myself fully to care for people who are in need...also animals like the stallions that were starve. Over tha last 2 months I have lived my life caring for them with the help of others sometimes.

Caring for people & being there for people doesn't equate to becoming emotionally involved on a sezual level when those boundaries are strong.

Maybe you picked men friends in those situations because you didn't want commitment in the first place?