Thank you for your reply, vonmoxie! LOL about fashion choices, no, he's developed a pretty refined taste in yoga clothes, he wears better threads than I do.

You mention the elements of my DH's personality and person that may emerge - and deciding whether love can override those things. The incredibly frustrating thing is not knowing what they may be, how strong those traits are, or who in fact this person I call my spouse is in actuality. In reading (never consult the internet - or read your spouse's browser history, I know), it seems like this could go so many directions it makes my head spin. Some of which I can live with in a marriage, assuming he still treats me the wonderful way in which he does now - but not all of them. I get that the fiction he'd been reading isn't necessarily a reflection of what he wants in life, but it was pretty out there. Some days it takes all the strength I have not to throw a dress in his face and telling him to get on with it already. I feel like I've had to reconsider things with the uncertainty, and am tired of being on hold while I wait to see if he'll ever be brave enough to get the truth.