Scream into a pillow. It does help. I agree with you that being locked up and sitting around for most of the day does not help. How do you mean you have been burned? I know you could not answer the T, I know how that feels. But at some point you have to consider that as you have said yourself things are getting out of control, you need help NOW. I was in the same position as you, in regards to SI and I had to back to the psych team for help. I know you don't want that, but it's gone too far and you need to talk to either a family member, your GP, or a friend. Perhaps they can lend you some support and go with you to talk to a professional at this hellish time in your life. Please trust them enough to help. Please!

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