I have, and often still do, feel very much like you. My ability to form intimate attachments was destroyed (my therapist might say 'altered', the DSM might say 'disorganized') as a child, so I feel alone, lost, hopeless, and isolated for much of my life. I'm telling you this because even with as bad as things still get for me, therapy has helped a lot. I'm not done yet, by a long way, but it can help. It's sooooooo slow, though, and there's soooo much pain in the process.

As LittleLeah wrote, there are people here that relate to what you go through, and we want to stick together to ease the pain for each other. Feel free to PM.