Quote:
Originally Posted by starfruit504
Sorry you haven't had a response until now. I guess it's unclear what the question is here. For what it's worth, I relate to what you're saying.
It's unclear whether you're still living at home with mom or living on your own now. I think if you're not independent that should be your focus right now. Get yourself free.
I think being independent and being away from your mother for an extended period will give you a wealth of insight as well as peace of mind. Stay away as much as you can. It's obvious she upsets you greatly and you need the space and autonomy to nurture yourself for a while.
We don't always get the parents we deserve. It's a shame, but there's hope on the other side in adulthood.
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I'm really sorry about being so incoherent - I suppose I wanted insight, who's right and who's wrong. Am I bratty and abusive and trying to make myself into a victim, or are the social workers' claims that I've been mentally abused correct? Or am I just an insane freak overreacting to totally normal things?
What prompted this is that I
did move out - I basically ran away about 4 months ago. I've been on welfare those few months (which could be a thread all by itself, I have so much guilt and shame about the way I handled my money, and feeling like a worthless leech), and I'll be getting off soon since I have employment now. I live on my own, but the calls still don't stop. Like I said, she's even called me at work.
Another huge problem is that I'm still on her health insurance, and that seems to be a reason for her continuing to be in my life - "If you want nothing to do with me, stop taking my money". I've honestly considered moving out of state to get away. This afternoon she talked about making "arrangements" so that we never have to speak to each other again. Which doesn't make sense to me: why do you need legal arrangements to
leave me the hell alone??
It's like I'm free yet not free, and this lessening ability to control my temper around her is worrying me.