I feel like I tell only fragments of my life. There is so much. I went to Maine to bring my son a reliable vehicle and brought his back for work to be done. He called a few nights ago at midnight in tears, very anxious and homesick. He has bipolar and has been on risperidol and depakote. He says the docs approved him cutting doses in half, which he did 2-3 weeks ago. He hugged on to me so hard when I got there. He showed me his house that he shares with rich friends whose parents feed them money so they go to school and get high. He said he wants to be going out and doing things like biking and surfing but he works, sleeps and goes to class. He has gone from a 34-36 inch waist to a 32 in no time. He explained that the job he has now is at a high stress restaurant, fancy one where he is yelled at constantly. My son is a good worker. He is a good kid. I told him to give notice last night. He gets home at mid-night. While we were eating at a local diner a man asked him if he would like to work with kids and there seems to be a job available to which he will be applying. The man was very kind. My son cried with me yesterday. This big man of a child. I felt so deeply for his pain. I told him that he is to get his all East Ski pass and board this year. I always have had to work so hard and never know fun. I do not want that for him. He is seeing a pdoc on Nov 2nd so I will be curious to see what they are thinking as he has not seen one in quite some time. I brought him a ton of groceries and he loved that. He was telling me how anxious he has been. Yeah, like having panic attacks before work. Well, if all they are going to do is yell at him I would have panic attacks too. I have a daughter with OCD, and I have been battling PTSD, and depression for too long. My job is stressfull and my back hurts. I took today off as a sick day. My hubby has been great for a while. He has anxiety disorder but seems to be dealing well and picking up the slack because all I can manage is working and coming home to bed mostly. We are stone cold broke. Would buy the kid a car if I could. But we will probably do the body work ourselves though I am bringing it to a kid tonight to get an estimate. I will put snow tires, brakes and an alignment on it before I bring it back. Life is weird. Whenever I am complaining about one thing a few others pop up to bite me in the arse. It's as though life is reminding me to stop complaining and deal or worse things will happen. Cancer kiddo unchanged. Still hospital since early august. Anxious today. I really don't have anything pressing on me until later. Just resting in bed now .