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Originally Posted by starfruit504
That's a pretty big overstatement of the impact you can have on a narcissist. They can pretty much get over anything even if initially distressed. It's temporary. They will have rationalized it in a way that suits them in no time. I gave up on my NPD father and it didn't take him long to conjure up his own distortion to write me off.
What you are looking for isn't actually remorse so much as change. You want her to change and be sorry. Historically, she's shown a pattern of not showing remorse and not changing. NPD aside, you can't change other people. You can only change yourself. That's what has to be accepted.
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We don’t know that the PippaIsAlone’s mother is really a narcissist. We only know that she thinks she may be. She also thinks that “giving up on her would be like slitting her throat and watching her die right in front of me”. So the way that I do rational thought – with some concern for the people I love – I can understand if PippaIsAlone feels she is in the midst of a dilemma. If my daughter thought/thinks that I am a narcissist and that I would have rationalized her giving up on me in a way that suits me in no time, I can certainly tell you that she is mistaken. I can’t tell her because she is not communicating with me. I think she’s gotten some bad advice but she’s an adult and there’s nothing more that I know to do about the situation except continue to sweep my side of the street, which I have.