I want to point out that you are far from your mind being blank. I do understand why you chose that username...

It was an inside joke from 6 years ago. It started as something I used to remember, I don't know the joke anymore, but it was with my ex girlfriend from that time like 4 ex girlfriends ago. I was like 15. I don't know. Some people like it others don't. I don't know.

I have no energy right now to try to be doing a thought out answer on the rest right now. I'm hurting too much. My body is falling apart from medical issues and I wish I wasn't here anymore.