Oh Emmy, he is half your age. He is sweet though. Thanks for your kind words. It seems as though the rough spell has been my life. I am tired. My T tells me my homework is to see one spec of light in each day whether it be my silly puppy dogs, a hug from the kids, pretty leaves etc. It is good homework because I experience these every day. Like yesterday when I was at my son's I was watching these waves pounding the shore and surfers with wet suits getting pounded too. I am not an ocean person but the beauty of those masssive waves pounding was incredible. I am a water baby. I feel so overwhelmed and alone. I called the pediatrician(yup, that is still listed as him primary doc) to get a referral for his psche services. I called him this morning and told him to get all East ski pass and that he was going to use it. Hec, maybe I will join him sometimes, haven't been on skis in about 8 years. I used to love it though. My sweet puppies are on my lap, I ran to town to buy fruit as hubby forgot and that is basically what I eat. My back wants to hurt but the meds help. I am just very sad. I want my boy's life to be more simple. I don't want him to suffer. He, unlike me, was raised without abuse and neglect. He was raised with so much love, why does he have to hurt so? It just ain't fair. he is interested in Buddism so I will be sending him books I have. I will send along treats of course. Oh Emmy, thanks for being here.