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I guess I'll be honest--I wanted someone to tell me I was overthinking it, that he was probably just being innocently goofy and yeah, flirtatious, but that some men just...are. Not necessarily because I want to keep the thing going, but because it disappoints me so much to think that he'd ever have anything but innocent intentions.
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His intentions may well be good. It sounds like it's a complex situation. What you might want to think about is his level of impulsiveness. That can get people into trouble even if their intentions are excellent.
If he has a good relationship with his wife, that's very good.
Sorry I can't say that it sounds like you're overthinking it. I think it's a little harder in these work relationships when one of the people is single.
Regardless of what his intentions are or aren't, you've sort of indicated some discomfort with the recent level of physical contact. It sounds like that's something you want to cut back on for your own sake.
I totally get what you mean about not having a choice about working closely with him. I've been in that situation. I'm sorry to say that I once dated someone that I worked that closely with and then when it ended badly, we still had to spend 10-15 hours a week sitting together doing intellectually demanding work. (where's the face palm emoticon?)