I have this recurring cycle of being depressed and then okay. For instance, last week I was depressed for about a week, and I was on the verge of suicide, the thoughts in my head would not stop. And then all of a sudden this week I am better, I don't have suicidal thoughts and I can make it through the day. What are these symptoms. My mother has a mental illness so I fear I may get it. I hate my depressive state because I feel worthless and on the edge.