hey guys,

so I spend a great deal of my time depressed. As in, I've been depressed to some degree most of the time since childhood. And I spend lots and lots of time staring at a screen. I will often put netflix on and just get lost reading articles on the internet about a variety of topics for hours and hours on end. Sometimes I draw while playing netflix but a lot of the times it feels like a chore, like most things in my life. I feel like I'm wasting away. This last summer I decided it was time to make a change and significantly cut down my computer usage, but I ended up becoming severely depressed because it was like I lost my security blanket and I was just left with all of my thoughts and feelings that I'd been pushing down by numbing out my brain. I ended up going up on my meds and I felt better for awhile but I'm falling back into my old patterns. Was wondering if any of you also struggle with this and if you've found to turn it around and become more productive.

I'm really stuck and I hate the way my life is right now and I'm struggling to find any sort of purpose or motivation.