One can be sexually intimate & never have intercourse that would cause someone to no longer be a virgin....sexual intimacy does not imply only having intercourse, it's any action that creates a sexual excitement within our mind & body & those are the boundaries that I cast in concrete.

You said you were physically close to these engaged & married men & that you now feel filthy...so what is your definition of physical closeness that has made you feel that way.

Just holding someone's hand & sitting there talking to them could be physical closeness but would hardly make one feel filthy. Telling them that they are wrong at any stage & that is crossing your boundaries isn't going to hurt them in the least. They are only using you to make themselves feel better & care less about your feelings especially when you say it makes you feel filthy. That shows absolutely NO respect for you but if you don't say anything obviously they don't know how it's making you feel. You never have to give yourself in any way to anyone if it makes you feel bad about yourself. That isn't friendship in any way. True friends care about how they are really making the other person feel & a true friend would never want to do something that makes the other person feel filthy just to fulfill their own pleasure.

That's why we have boundaries that define the limits we are willing to go based on how going past those boundaries make us feel or the moral values we hold strongly to