So you were not born of the Jewish faith correct? You must have somehow seen images and read about the Holocaust and that came together with your sense of being a prisoner of this doctor that took advantage of you.

I am sorry that being intimate triggers you to have PTSD flashbacks. Whatever a person experiences that was traumatic can be triggered that way. I am sorry that a PTSD episode can intrude on you so unexectedly, I have that challenge myself and I am sure others can relate, maybe not with the same triggers you have, but the experience itself.

I had a horrible experience with a colonoscopy and other situations that took place under medical care so it's a big deal for me to go to a doctor and not experience a flashback. My new therapist wrote a letter explaining it so I could give it to doctors so they are patient with me.

I just had an endoscopy last week and it was such a big challenge for me to go through with it. The anticipation alone was a challenge, I did everything I could think of to distract myself all the days I had to get through before the day of the procedure.

Then one of the nurses heard I had horses and told me she loved horses and donated her time at a Therapudic Riding Center. I asked her if she knew a horse and she said he was the nicest horse they had, so loving and so amazing with the children and handicapped challenged riders. That horse was my daughters that go hurt badly by my neighbor's dog and my daughter still has not gotten over that. When they put my under the whole time I was under I was reliving how my daughter's horse was hurt and I kept crying while under and coming out of the anethesia. It took me three days to get through that cycle and the affects of the anethesia.

I am sorry that you struggle at such inconvenient times, I have that challenge myself and sadly I often have to listen to "just gotta not do that" kind of statements, but, I don't "make" them happen that is what others fail to understand.

Yes, you will probably always have challenges, but you can learn to manage them better and it makes all the difference in the world when others validate and are supportive. That is what pulls one into the now and healing and gaining.

((Caring Supportive Hugs))
OE