Dude, I really feel for you and more so for your kids. There is no win situation here, just the less damaging option. By leaving, she may hurt herself and you should document all these allegations as you will need them. By the way this is a scare technique she's using because well, it works. By staying you are teaching your kids that it's ok to be in an abusive relationship, it's ok to be put down and that a no holds barred conflict is the norm in relationships. Is that the lesson you want impart on young impressionable innocent minds?

Stop being an effing hero and martyr. The cross you're trying to impale yourself (along with your kids on) is not glued to your body. You can lay it down and your walk through life is gonna be easi-er. Keep the cross and hammer in the nails deeper by the day and see if she cares or changes. And all this for what? So that your kids can spend the rest of their life in therapy? So you can be father of the year? Not.

Your pain is obvious through your humor. That's tough You don't care about her and neither does she for you or the kids. Now the question is, do you want to wait over ten years, watch your mental health go down the toilet, divorce after ten years and end up paying this child of a woman $$$ in alimony? Because you will, whether or not you end up with the kids after that point. And if she gets the kids and alimony, you bet your ***** your kids are not going to see any of it.

If you think this is bad, wait until you leave or meet someone who gets you to get over your guilt and leave her, and then hell really will break loose. In the meantime, remember:

She's took care of you when you were sick, you've paid your penance.
People do marry before love. In some cultures love develops after marriage. In your case, this did not happen and it's NOT all your fault.
Dude, I'm a woman. When condoms are not an option, there are other options including vasectomy. Put the rose colored classes down. You're being lied to.
The risk of bringing another kid to this dysfunction is not worth the hot sex. Unless she has a sex patent, get another willing partner since it's obvious your hand is lacking as well Quid pro quo

From what you describe, your wife sounds like an untreated, borderline narcissist. My mother was one. Reading the book walking on egg shells finally made sense of the nonsense. Here's one resource BPDFamily | Borderline Personality Disorder and yet another from huffie. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/virgin...b_5101613.html