Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I overall just don't understand why friendship must involved physical contact. What contact?
I am not married and my BF isn't interested in other women but I would have a problem if he sat there with ladies having physical contacts like holding hands and touching? Or like what? That would be just as bad as having sex. And I wouldn't care if that woman did it because she thought he needed comfort. I would be grossed out by the whole thing and it would be the end of it. Beyond red flag.
That's why I just do not get this whole physical closeness thing. If these men are commuted to others they are just cheaters. But then again maybe I misunderstand physical contact comment. What does it imply? What type of closeness?
I just have to add that there is nothing wrong in wanting to comfort others. You might choose a career that requires that or would you consider something like volunteer in places such hospice or shelter or hospital? You'll be comforting those in need and putting them first at the same time not jeopardizing your values.
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Why do you think I feel filthy? Yes, I know they are cheaters and I know I became reason for it.
Regarding physical contact, wouldn't you hold hand of your friend to comfort them or hug them when they are depressed? That is what I did only to realize later that the way I perceived these contacts are different from what they wanted. That is when things stopped and even friendship ended. But, for me even this means too much. My sensors to know when a guy is hitting on me are very weak and so, it is usually very late when I realize it and if I'm lucky someone else would have warned me and I could take necessary steps.
My therapist says there is nothing wrong I did, the time I realized that their intentions weren't same as mine, I had expressed my concerns of it. For first one I even told the girl, she accepted him and they got married. I don't know if I did right thing by telling that girl, but I'm relieved that base of their marriage is truth, she accepted him knowing truth about him.
Why do you think someone would want their good close friends to cheat? Why do you think a woman will be happy to be instrument of someone else's cheating desire?
If your boyfriend cheats on you, it was his decision. He is aware of his relationship with you and whether he cheats or not depends on how much he respects you. The third person involved here might not be just aware of your boyfriends tactics.