I think actual friends are pretty rare in general. I can only think of two people from my past with whom I felt like we had an actual bond. The rest of my "friends" were people who wanted something from me, in one way or another, and vanished when they grew bored or felt inconvenienced, or found something better. In my observations over the years, that's how a lot of "friendships" between people are. I think it's how most people are in general. Strangers never talk to me unless they want a cigarette. If we're around each other long enough that they ask for several cigarettes, they become my "friend". But that's really nothing special or worth anything. And when I'm already dealing with MI symptoms, I don't have the energy or patience to go through the song and dance of playing pretend with people, especially not for the sake of a parasitic, fake "friendship". I think neuro-typical people just have more energy and resilience for the song and dance, making it appear like "normal" people have lots of "friends". I would rather hold out for someone special and be alone otherwise, though. I consider it a blessing of insight from my mental health problems, a silver lining in a way.