Thank you.

So, I am facing a major inner battle. I am dealing w/ a dysfunctional family whom i love very much, who raised me and who seem to just exist w/in this dysfunction. I struggle so much w/ missing them, being with them and doing things (i can keep inviting, but unless i seem to come to them- or plan something that my mom will do ie: Shopping, or nails,,... or walking with her on her obsessive hour long daily walk where she rants to me about everything on earth that one shouldn't... politics, religion, blabla and meanwhile, when i voice my opinion she either ignores me or acts so weird that i am not allowed to think differently then her! ugh. i miss having a normal RL with my family. Altho i dont think i ever did. I Just miss so much having a female to comfort me, love me and be there who doesn't push religion or pray the rosary and all will be well. I dont believe that and i wish somehow, i could just have a loving mom to hug me (i am always hugging her bony body). i am sad!!!!!!

Not to mention i work for this family and am in their home office daily, meanwhile my dad is completely MIA hunting season and I am holding down the fort, myself! ! they throw bills at me to pay, i am personal secretary and office person for the business plus their day to day lives. I am ok with that but i feel i should be paid more, and i am not really socializing w/ people in the real world and i feel alone allot.

On the flip side, i have very flexible hours, i can work from home on snow days or sick days (sick as in having a mood problem for ex). So, i am at a huge cross roads of sorts.

I think a pros/cons list is in order.