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Oct 27, 2015, 01:10 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2004
Location: transitioning to pluto
Posts: 3,461
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Last night, when this thread was first brought to my attention, It was suggested I not reply until after I had a better handle on the emotional reaction I had to it.
I listened.
Today I found I was still having a somewhat emotional reaction so I again did not reply. I did appreciate DocJohn's 1st reply though.
Instead I ranted a bit in AdultChat and found that many people felt the same way I did. We talked about it together. Now I came back to write. and find even more replies than before.
While in Emotional Support last night (after first finding this thread) I noticed there were a lot of people there but only 2 of us were talking (we were being supportive, but it could have looked like no one else was welcome to talk). Instead of continuing "our" chat, I wrote, "I am just talking, If anyone has anything to say, jump in." Others jumped in.
A lot of times Emotional Support is empty. If the regular type person looking for support sees that, they are not going to enter and be alone. So if I feel capable of offering support when I enter chat I will go to the empty room. If another room is more packed I will go there as well. If another room does not have people in it, I will not. Stay with me here.... the next person who comes into chat sees me in ES. They don't need support either but want to chat. They follow me to ES. We chat, we get to know each other better. Someone else enters ES. The are greeted. Depending on their answer, the chat will go one of 2 ways. Their day has been unpleasant and they need support or are just there to talk. Meanwhile more and more people enter----none needing support, but not wanting to move to another room just in case someone does need it. If we leave, the room will now be empty again.
If chat is not going the way you think it should be going, change it or leave. There are very good http://forums.psychcentral.com/chat-...hile-chat.html
Yes Emotional Support is mainly there for ES, but NOBODY is going to an empty room. Many people don't even care what room they are in. They go where the people are.
I entered chat today. There was 1 person in emotional support and that was it. I was not in a super supportive mood and did not need support, so I went into the coffeehouse all alone. It quickly filled up.
I had more thoughts that I wanted to share, but some of those thoughts are in replies I just read. I wanted to come here and be sarcastic and say, "if you can't chit chat in ES then you shouldn't be able to need support in the coffeehouse." Unfortunately Doc John took away my opportunity to be sarcastic before I could be sarcastic with his 2nd reply  People do come to adult and coffeehouse needing support. When ES is empty. I have seen people get asked to take it to Emotional Support, but I have seen even more people say, "if you want to go to ES, I will go with you."
Bachir ----I know what you are talking about, but did not know at the time it was going on. If you would appreciate my thoughts on that let me know.
All others---- Do not base chat on what 1 or 2 people post here. You might miss out on a very good thing. Come and judge it for yourself.
again read this first http://forums.psychcentral.com/chat-...hile-chat.html
Chat will always appear to be cliquish. It was when I was new. I chose to not take it personally and stayed. I have spent a lot of time building friendships with many people in chat. You won't be able to do that if you don't try. because of these relationships, I find myself needing open emotional support chat less. 7 out of 10 times I am able to support rather than need support. But I have my moments. Now that I think about it, those relationships were mostly built in rooms other than ES as ES was always empty and I didn't want to be alone when I got here. I have built a pretty decent support system all because of chat.
There is nothing wrong with chat, but there are a few things wrong with me. 
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