....."Last therapist I went to I ended up feeling like a failure and that I wasn't "ready" to get better. So I gave up. "....

This is the Key statement you made. To Heal, you must want to Heal. If you do not want to heal, Hospitals and Doctors can be of no help.

I think you can heal, and are able to heal. All you need to do is trust yourself, and your ability to heal. I think you can do that. Dedicate yourself, with determination, to healing yourself. You are not a failure.