Well look, so there are new treatments and approaches available for conditions now that were not available when you were younger. I think that holds true for almost every person who ever exists and makes it to middle age. It's just a natural part of our gradual advancement as a species.

Maybe 40 years from now, there will be medications that work extremely well and don't cause any side effects, and I'll be able to give 20-somethings a cheeky lecture on how when I was their age, Zyprexa made me gain 40 pounds and drop 20 IQ points.

But I'll also still understand when several of them don't want to take the medications, anyway, despite how vastly improved the medications are. Since there is often a lot more to fearing medication and what it means, than just concerns over side effects. They'll be a bit luckier than me but still in the same general boat, anyway. And if I'm able, I'll partake in the new and improved meds, myself.

The reality here is that you are the one who is giving up on yourself, you are the one making excuses not to try to improve yourself and your life anymore, you are the one throwing away what time and opportunity you have left. Coming on here to lecture others about not trying hard enough to improve their lot in life, is just projection.

It sounds like you are experiencing the same painful struggle as many of the people who come and go here. Mourning what could have been so far, what was lost, what cannot be undone, and feeling like improvement is just too hard or too late with too much stacked against you. That feeling of despair is something that tons of people with BPD and other disorders/illnesses go through at all ages and stages of life. You may be 65 but you are still not alone in your feelings and experiences. And you're not actually that old, you're just middle-aged. I've worked in nursing homes where most people were in their 90s and still having sex. I have accidentally seen some things that made me realize even 70 is not old.

And you might feel like well this Copper chick just doesn't get it, doesn't understand, doesn't realize how hard it is, and so on. And if you do have that gut reaction, then please allow it to connect you with every other message on this website expressing the same feeling, such as when people are hesitant or lacking confidence about trying DBT for their own reasons.