Hello everyone and thank you for taking your time by reading my post.
I have posted about my depression twice already and you have always been very responsive and friendly to me, so the only thing I can say about that is: "thank you."
Well...I don't know what's going on with me. I don't know happiness anymore. The last time I was happy was little more than a year ago. I am sad nearly every moment of my life and suicide is all that I think about. Every day, every moment...but I don't understand how can I be so sad??? I have a loving family, a house and I am well fed...like an ordinary inhabitant. There are children starving and dying all over the world...and they want to live. But I am here, materially taken care of...but I can't live and I absolutely despise myself for thinking of suicide. I just can't think of anything else...every day I wake up sad, I have no joy in anything, I feel like I just want to lie down and listen to sad music all the day, then go to sleep. That's all. I have anger outbreaks every minute and I feel angry towards many, for no reason. I don't know what's going on...my entire mind wants to die and I feel so tired...and empty...and worthless. Please, could somebody help me? I don't know how much longer I will keep on going but there is one thing that is keeping me...my family...I can't imagine what kind of horror I would cause to them by killing myself...so please, please could someone just give me an advice? Or talk to me? Thank you very very much...