I recently came across a few articles on permissive parenting and resultant adult-child emptiness that I was quick to relate to. I was wondering if anyone has any experience or thoughts on recovering from lack of communication / inexperience with conflict, self blame, and emotional neglect especially.

My parents were very loving but I do not remember much in the way of acknowledgement or encouragement, and certainly never conflict. My family did not communicate and I seem to propagate that lifestyle into my romantic relationships, including a tendency to become involved with unemotional non-communicators. I submit this way even when I am not looking for a romantic relationship. Since I base my self-worth entirely on how I believe others perceive me and my actions (based on their actions and responses), you can imagine how self destructive this pattern has been.

I have always been relatively responsible so I do not have major problems with self-discipline, although this is likely a result of a strong desire to people-please and a fear of letting others down. I am becoming aware of my passivity and I am overwhelmed by my realization that I lack a sense of self.