See - sometimes i realize my illness is talking. This morning i hated everyone, wante to quit and run away. the grass seemed greener in any other place. Now- that i have turned around, the sky seems sunny and im in a happy place b/c i can go home and have nice flexible hours.. perhaps even over idealizing my situation. maybe it is much worse and more dire- maybe i am being controlled and i dont see it? :/ My moods shift drastically like the wind. Now, if someone could properly diagnose me !!!!??? b/c it can be exhausting!!!!!! to say the least. too much noise!

---- this is my life.

I am at least happy and proud too- since i stopped freaking out on my boyfriend when everything in my life felt out of place. when i would get upset easily by his remarks, or jokes, and start a fit with cursing, throwing things and such... awful awful stuff. breaking everything, locking myself in rooms... running away. crazy.

the sweet thing: i have n't done anything like that in a while. for that i am SO grateful! it shows me, this damn hard work is paying off. So, i will continue to be patient!

Sorry for the weird rant.

:/