You're not the first to post about being 10000% honest with a partner about your sexual past and then having the relationship crumble. I understand that honesty is good, but I think that people get caught up in the whole honesty thing.....that is, keeping certain things private doesn't mean you're lying or being dishonest. I hope that in the future you can learn to discern what is best shared and what is best kept private.

But....this is on him at this point. He is the only one who can let go of your sexual past and move forward. Outside of telling him you love him and that he's the one for you, and that you enjoy your sexual activities together, there's pretty much nothing you can do. If he chooses to have these hang ups and not work through them, its on him. Simply put, you cannot change the past.

I do want to challenge you on your "last resort" bit....that is, there is only so much you can do. Don't let him drag you to the depths of hell before you get out. No guy, no relationship is worth that. I understand that he's your everything, and all you could ever ask for....but you do need to determine your limits ahead of time. How much worse are you going to let things get before you get out? If he's putting 100% into healing, then this may be it....can you live like this for the rest of your life? I don't have MDD....well, at least not in the sense that others have it. (Its on my record, yes, as it is for most people with PTSD, but I don't suffer from it like anyone else I know who has it as I'm not "down" all the time.) Depression can be a lifelong debilitating disorder, so do some soul searching and figure out if you can deal with all of this for life.

Oh, and if you do have a "next" relationship, please keep these sorts of things private. I mean if the new guy asked you if you had rockin' sex with an ex and wanted you to detail it all, would you be compelled to do so? Yeah, there have got to be lines you just don't cross, things you just don't disclose.