So I feel I've kind of lost all meaning to my life. I feel so down on myself and I'm not entirely sure where to turn. Let me first start by saying I am in no way suicidal. I don't know that I could ever truly go through with that. I have felt like that in the past, but not so much now. Anyway, my wife and I are trying to have a baby and we got the results last night from my test and I have low to no semen count so my dark thoughts started going through my head and I just feel like what's the point in living?

I constantly think I'm not good at things, I don't enjoy my job, I can't find a new job for my degree because the great catch 22 (no experience no job, no job no experience). I'm 30 I have bad eye sight, hearing loss, sinus problems so I can't smell, don't taste well, and now (at this point and time) can't reproduce. I feel like I have no purpose. I don't believe in god so the who spiritual thing doesn't mean anything to me and I just feel so lost at this point. I hate feeling like "oh poor me" because I know other people have it worse. I just don't know what to do.

I know that things will get better they generally do, but I feel like I'm in a storm of bad things. We had our cars break down 3 times now (her car broke twice, mine once, and all three breakdowns were a week apart).

I'm going to call a Urologist today the test that was done was just an initial test through my wife's gynecologist office which means at the moment it could be as simple as a blockage so I'm trying not to dwell on that fact right at the moment, but I have these thoughts and I just feel like why do I wake up in the morning?

I'm just looking for advice, like I said I'm not suicidal, I love my wife, I love my parents, I love my family and generally things are good. I'm just feeling super down. So what's the point? What keeps you going? What helps you want to wake up and go do the same thing every day? I really appreciate any advice. Thank you so much for just reading this even if you don't comment.