Counselling is a great idea, for you. For him? Would he even go? You sound... emotionally mature, making the right decisions, which is great, but there's two of you here, and it looks like only one of you has the insight to try to make things better. You can't do it on your own, though. He needs to jump on board too, and if he's not able to do that, for whatever reason, you're on a hiding to nothing. Marriages end all the time. There's no big stigma these days. You don't have children. But, what you do have, are suspicions. You feel confused, crazy, unsure of yourself, unable to make your own decisions, *****-footing around so as not to upset him. who has time for that?

sure, relationships have their ups and downs, but if you feel like you're on that slippery slope, get out while you can.