I had a friend who did ECT and didn't recognize her high school friends on the street. Did you try clozapine?

I had another friend who loved ECT because she made a list of her favorite movies before the seizure and because of memory loss she came home and watched them again like if it where her first time.

The truth is it's awful, but horrible is living with psychosis. Discuss it with your doctor and ask him what would he do if you were his son..

Best wishes...