vital - this is an awesome approach. thank you- i will try it, it fits right in with my issue that i mistakenly thought venting outloud every outburst, thought, judgement, insecurity... would somehow make the situation go away. instead it drove everyone away who i voiced (or screamed, or worse). I learned that from the p's and others... now, i am learning a new way. its like learning a new language. (or lack there of haha). kind of a new internal dialogue. DBT is supposed to help teach me this new way of thinking, interacting and communicating. that so far is the toughest for me and i hope it will help. ie: Today, i was really moody. it was over something silly in hind-sight .. my boyfriend and i usually take time for one another in the morning to chat, coffee. i got up abruptly, PO'd that the tv was annoying me, went to shower, then the whole time angry at him for not joining or chasing me, i played this sad puppy / angry weirdo. he basically understood somehow i was trying sooo hard to not explode on him, he just gave a huge hug and it made it all melt away. He gets me so much, and when i am kinder, it always feels good especially later. when i am mean, or freak out, there are always tons of bad feelings and regrets later. So- low and behold~~~ it seems to work!! (sorry for the tangent, lol). I feel more and more 'normal' these days!!