Abusers are experts at making you feel like your feelings are not valid. That's how they get away with what they do instead of being shunned by society or thrown in jail. Part of your recovery is experiencing those feelings and learning to tolerate them rather than numb them out (mentally or through substance abuse). You have to know that what you experienced was real and horrifying. What you are going through now is real and it's not fair. But you can rise above it. It doesn't have to define you anymore. My advice is keep your head down. Don't let them see you angry at the way you are treated. Use them for a place to stay as long as you can until you get on your feet and then get the hell out of there and let them live their toxic lives without you. What helped me through some of my darkest days was telling myself, "I'm not going to let him win."