Kvinneakt,

Now I think I understand your username. Do you have a scandinavian background? I've picked up enough Norwegian to get myself into trouble anyway.

I think that you are on the right track. You are recogizing that you have some problems and also some possible reasons for them. I think that talking to a professional about it will be very valuable to you. Working through your issues very well could be very difficult on your marriage. That is something that you should talk about with a therapist, and eventually probably include your wife in the discussion. It sounds like a very frustrating problem. I'm a little worried that my five-year-old son could easily grow up and develop a similar problem. He is the youngest, with two older sisters, and sometimes it is pretty clear that he would rather be a girl than a boy. I don't know how confused he actually is - he has good male role models in my husband and other people we interact with, but it's natural for a child to want to be like the older siblings, and he wants to play with the dolls, dress-up, have tea parties, and all those things that his sisters do and sometimes they exclude him just because he is the little brother and that is how big sisters are. Well, I can see how it must be very confusing and frustrating.
Wishing you the best, and the answers you are looking for!

<font color=green>Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that, you, too, can become great. -Mark Twain</font color=green>