Maybe the fact is that a narcissist doesn't see how you see. The definition you may seek probably means something completely different to an "N". Please explain the type of pain and situation a LITTLE more and I could possibly help. Marmaduke so quick to answer, are you a fellow NPDer or are you on the other side of the fence? I do enjoy hearing about others emotional distress caused by a narcissist. It allows me to see how others operate on both teams.