This is a case of Judgement vs. Understanding. If you say to someone "What Is Wrong With You" that implies Judgement. Accusations are usally Judgements.

It is better to try to understand someones point of view first, then debate it with out making accusations. You can agree or disagree with out judging the person personally. Also understanding can give you a more complete picture, of that persons point of view. Understanding it does not mean you have to agree with it.