I'm not well today. Thank you all for your concern. I asked my husband if we could go to the ocean and he said I'm insane to think we would drive 10 or more hours for that. He said we'd plan a trip for the spring. I'm seriously considering walking out on my family. I can't be a wife and mom any more. I can't and don't know how to do it. I am completely indifferent about my husband and agitated by my children. My husband told me yesterday that alll I do is exist on our house. He said it's like I don't even want to spend time with him or the kids. I just agreed with him. I want to be alone. I just wish I had all the answers.